Come to think of it I honestly feel that other than me not being there for his last moments there is nothing that was left unresolved. My Dad and I had a very very close relationship. The bond we had could not be broken. Sure we had our tough times when we didn't agree on things, however, we always worked through them. I know growing up was hard because he wasn't always there but we always , always had a roof over our heads and food on the table. Given sometimes the food we had was nothing more than a pot of beans for days at a time but it was still food.
We made the best of what we had. The most important thing out of all of this isn't anything materialistic, it was love. There are times we all fought like cats and dogs, what family doesn't?? In the end we could close our eyes at night knowing we were loved.
I remember the first time my dad congratulated me on being a mother. It wasn't when I gave birth, it was after I had both boys. T.J. was just a new born and Lonnie was around 2 yrs old. I was sitting with Lonnie on the couch asking him where his body parts were, such as nose, eyes, things like that and then I got him to recite the alphabet and count as high as he could go. I taught him that with alot of patience and love. My father was so proud of me that day. He told me I was glowing sitting there with my kid and finally I knew what it was like to actually be a mother. I guess you would have to have kids of your own to truly understand the unconditional love you have for your child, or atleast you would have to have helped raise one to understand.
I loved my Father, regardless of how many fights we had, regardless of how easy or hard my childhood was. He did the best he could and I am the result of that. I'm not perfect however I am perfectly me.....
=submina=
